Bumbling Babysitters
by Paige34
Summary: Corny title, yes, I know. Matt and Tai babysit, a disaster waiting to happen. What could be more funny?


"Tai, are you ready yet?" Tai's little sister Kari called into their room, "Aunt Lena will be here any minute!" Tai gave up trying to tame his hair and went into the kitchen. His Aunt Lena and his three cousins lived in America. Well, it used to be Aunt Lena and his one cousin, but Aunt Lena had just had twins, which was the nature of her visit. Mrs. Kamiya, Tai and Kari's mom, had been the first in the family to invite her sister and the two four-month-old babies over for spring break. But that was okay because Tai liked his third cousin, Jasmine, who was his age. She was pretty cool. Apparently, he wasn't the only one who thought so.

"What the heck are _you_ doing here? Who let you in?" Tai said to the bent over body that was digging through his refrigerator. His best friend, Matt, straightened, cake in hand. "Is that the last piece of cake? I was going to eat it even though I promised Mom Kari could have it!" Matt smiled.

"I came to see your cousin."

"Oh, I see what's going on."

"No, Tai, it's not like that!"

"Have a thing for foreigners, do we Matt?"

"No," Matt blushed, "She's a nice girl."

"Don't worry, I won't tell."

"Tai!"

_Ding Dong._

"They're here!" Kari and TK, Matt's little brother, ran to the door. Kari had her own reasons for being excited. Jasmine was her favorite cousin. She was fun to be around, and always brought new American slang and trends. Kari liked to hear about America. "Jazz!"

Jasmine walked through the door, a baby carrier in her hand. "Kari! How've you been?" She said in Japanese. Coming to Japan at least once a year since she was two, Jasmine had picked up the language quickly. "Matt, Tai, TK! What's up dudes?"

"Dudes?"

Jazz chuckled. The only reason she said half of the things she said was because she loved the looks on her cousins' faces as they tried to decipher her.

"It means, like, friends."

"Okay, who is this dude?" Kari tickled the chin of the baby who was in the carrier.

"That's Dallin. And this is Dana." Aunt Lena came in after her daughter. After Mrs. Kamiya hugged her sister, she and Kari started talking goo-goo to the babies.

"What is it with girls and babies?" TK wanted to know. Matt shrugged.

"Oh, speaking of girls and babies," Mrs. Kamiya said, "We want you girls to baby-sit tomorrow night while Aunt Lena and I go to dinner and maybe catch a movie."

"I can't. TK and I have to finish our Science project," said Kari.

"I wanted to see Sora," Jasmine complained. "Make Tai do it."

"What?" Tai exclaimed.

Mrs. Kamiya liked thoughtful. "That might work."

"What?" Tai exclaimed again.

"Haha, sucks to be you," Matt teased.

"Mom, Tai can't take care of both kids," Jasmine said, winking at TK. He got the hint and said, "I don't think you're doing anything tomorrow, are you Matt?"

"What a wonderful idea!" Mrs. Kamiya said. Now it was Matt's turn to say, "What? I can't. I have that...thing."

"Mom, I don't know anything about kids!"

"Don't be silly, Tai, you were always so good with Kari."

"Aha! An excellent point! My parents were divorced! I never had experience with TK."

"Nonsense, bro, you'll get the hang of it."

"Then it's settled."

"What!" said Matt and Tai together.

The next day, the baby training began. Jazz went over how to feed, burp, hold, rock, change and play with the babies, Kari, Matt, and Tai trying to learn everything. Finally it was the Big Moment. Jasmine and Kari left the apartment together.

"They're doomed," said Kari.

"Yep."

"But that was pretty good, putting them on the spot like that. They're going to have fun tonight."

"You betcha!" Jasmine answered in English as they did their secret childhood handshake, and left Kari to find out for herself what it meant.

Meanwhile, boys watched the twins gurgling happily in their bassinets.

"Maybe this won't be so hard after all," Matt said. Dallin whimpered, followed by Dana.

"You just had to go and say that, didn't you?" Tai told him angrily. "Oh, no," he said as Matt reached for Dana, "I get the girl. Everyone knows the boys pee on you." He picked up Dana, and rocked her. "What's wrong?"

"I think they're hungry."

"Okay." Tai heated up a bottle of formula. "Now we test it to see if it's too hot."

"Jazz said to put a few drops on our arms to- Ow!"

"Too hot?" Tai asked innocently as Matt wiped formula off his face.

"I'm not sure. Let's spray some of it on you, just to make sure!" The boys waited for the formula to cool down before feeding it to the twins. And there was peace, for now.

"You know what's going to happen next," said Matt.

"I'll get the diapers."

"So, what do you think Dana means?" Tai asked at the changing table.

"Huh?"

"I read that even before America was discovered, the natives had names that meant things, like Wild Eagle, or Mighty Stone. So what do you think Dana means in English?"

Matt shrugged. "Probably 'Stinky One.'"

"And Dallin?"

"'One With Excessive Lung Capacity.'"

"Probably."

"Hey, Sora, I'm kinda worried about the twins. I'm going to check on them. I can pick up that CD while I'm there."

"Okay."

"Tai, make him stop!" Matt yelled.

"Matt, make her stop!" Tai yelled.

"Okay." They switched babies. This helped none. The doorbell rang. Tai and Matt ran for it.

"Jazz, make them stop!" They shouted in unison, both completely insane.

Jazz sighed. "Watch." She took Dallin, put him against her shoulder and patted him firmly on the back, pacing around the room. Within minutes, Dallin was just sniffling. "There!" She handed Dallin back to Tai. "Just do that." She got the CD and left.

Tai looked at the closed door. "Oh."

After much pacing, the babies were both silent.

"Back check!" Tai whispered. "Dallin?"

"Asleep. Dana?"

Tai checked. "Asleep." Both let out a sigh. "Well, the only thing to do is put them back."

"In their bassinets? Tai, are you crazy? They'll wake up!"

"What are we going to do, stay here all night? I'm putting him down." He tried to gently lay Dallin down. No such luck. Dallin wailed, waking Dana up, and there was more pacing.

"Good going Tai!" Matt whispered. "Back check."

"Asleep."

"Asleep. Can we at least sit down?"

"Matt, don't-" But all Dana did was stir and go back to sleep. Tai sat down as well. "Wow. Babies are hard."

"I know. I am _never_ having kids."

Kari picked up Jasmine at Sora's house. The two walked into the apartment only to see Matt asleep on the couch with Dana on his chest and Tai on the other side of the couch, asleep with Dallin on his chest.

"Aww, how cute." Jasmine said.

"Yeah, Tai would probably kill us if he ever found out." They looked at the boys for a few minutes.

"So, you got your camera?"

"Right here." Kari snapped a picture. "Nothing says blackmail like boys sleeping."

"Make doubles."


End file.
